Ten Romance Movies I Love
Just in time for Valentine's Day.
Love is far more complicated than it seems in the movies. Romantic films, generically known for their “happily ever after” endings, don’t jibe with my (arguably bitter) tastes and sensibilities.
However, there are plenty of romance movies I love. I’ve compiled a list of my favorites that I believe fall within the romance genre.
Whatever your relationship status or feelings towards this Hallmark card holiday, I hope I can offer you a few recommendations that speak to the intricacies of your lived experience.
What are your favorite romance movies? I’m always seeking recommendations!
(500) Days of Summer (2009)
I like rom-coms as a genre, but I rarely see my experiences reflected on screen. These are films where a public declaration of love smooths over all interpersonal conflict. A kiss resolves an issue forever, and a crowd of onlookers cheers for smooching strangers — probably in an airport or something. These are stories from a world that broadly champions crude romanticism over the nuanced realities of relationships.
In Summer, I saw pieces of myself. In all my years of watching stories about love, she was the first person to say things that actually made sense. She says what she means regardless of the pressures she is subjected to, and she means what she says even if it confounds expectations.
Director Marc Webb brings this non-linear story of life, love, and memory to the screen using an unconstrained mix of differing methods and styles of cinematic storytelling. Yet it remains cohesive, never allowing style to subsume substance. It’s a bold film that feels as self-assured as its titular character.
As of publication, (500) Days of Summer is streaming on Hulu.
Read more:
Titanic (1997)
Cynical film bros can roll their eyes, but facts are facts: James Cameron’s epic historical drama has something for everyone. In the first half, a forbidden romance blossoms between Rose (Kate Winslet), a wealthy woman trapped in a life she didn’t design, and Jack (Leonardo DiCaprio), a free-spirited passenger in steerage. An unfortunate brush with an iceberg plunges our lovers into a fight for survival, replete with spectacle that rivals the grandest disaster movies.
As of publication, Titanic is streaming on Paramount+ and Showtime.
Her (2013)
Spike Jonze’s Her is a tender love story far more complex than its reputation as “the movie about the guy that dates Siri.” In the not-too-distant future, in a metropolis that is equal parts Los Angeles and Tokyo, Theodore (Joaquin Phoenix), constantly surrounded by crowds in a technologically hyperconnected future, struggles to form meaningful connections. A new operating system offers a personalized virtual assistant, like Siri, but capable of autonomous thinking.
Samantha, Theodore’s new virtual assistant, is voiced by Scarlett Johansson. Despite never appearing on screen, Johansson’s disembodied vocal performance radiates warmth and crackles with curiosity about the ecstasy of love and the interpersonal experiences that make us human.
As of publication, Her is streaming on Max.
Portrait of a Lady on Fire (2019)
French filmmaker Céline Sciamma brings to life an absolutely breathtaking sapphic romance set in France circa 1770. It is a masterwork that ranks among my favorite films of all time.
As of publication, Portrait of a Lady on Fire is streaming on Hulu and Kanopy.
Learn more about Kanopy:
The Worst Person in the World (2021)
Joachim Trier’s remarkable Norwegian film follows Julie (Renate Reinsve), a woman unsure of who she is and what she wants, over four years in her thirties. She falls in and out of love, struggling to find personal fulfillment and self-actualization amid a flurry of social expectations.
The Worst Person in the World takes the generic love triangle and transforms it into a web of desire and regret whose complexities threaten to unravel a frightening truth: most of us don’t know what we want, and too many of us are afraid to find out for fear of being seen as selfish, hurting someone we love, and risk feeling like The Worst Person in the World.
As of publication, The Worst Person in the World is streaming on Hulu and Kanopy.
Past Lives (2023)
Past Lives, Celine Song’s semi-autobiographical directorial debut, is quite possibly my favorite movie of 2023. I fell in love minutes into the film. Its visual language is both elegant and economical. A deep sense of yearning is woven into the film’s DNA. Shots of city skylines convey beauty and promise, but the act of looking evokes feelings of searching. This isn’t your run-of-the-mill urban romance. It’s a meta-modern romantic masterwork that reinvigorates an otherwise formulaic genre.
Questions of authorship and self-reflexivity abound in a semi-autobiographical film in which the writer/director’s self-insert, Nora, is also a writer. As such, Nora fully comprehends the romantic grandiosity of the film’s premise and the storybook nature of her situation. Yet her awareness of narrative conventions allows her to express a real-life pragmatism that operates in tension with the audience’s expectations of romantic narratives.
This is not a straightforward, modernist narrative. Nor does it exhibit post-modern narrative cynicism that is hell-bent on subversion. The film exhibits a self-awareness that isn’t winking at the audience. Instead, in its first scene, the film looks at you directly and in earnest.
As of publication, Past Lives is streaming on Showtime.
Read more:
The Shape of Water (2017)
Every time I mention The Shape of Water, the response I get, without fail, is, “Is that the movie where the lady fucks a fish?”
Yes, it is. However, director Guillermo del Toro is interested in much more than fish fucking.
The Shape of Water is a far deeper film. It’s about love as experienced by “The Other, " rendered via magical realism and cloaked in the trappings of Universal’s classic monster movies.
Set in the 1950s, a decade whose culture heavily stressed conformity and punished difference, the film deftly explores queered conceptions of love via the relationship between the Fish-Man and the Princess Without a Voice.
This is so much more than the story of a lady fucking a fish. If that’s all you got from watching the film, you should watch it again and try looking below the surface.
As of publication, The Shape of Water is available for digital rental or purchase.
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004)
Jim Carrey and Kate Winslet lead an all-star cast in this one-of-a-kind odyssey into love, dysfunction, and the unbearable agony of heartbreak. Charlie Kaufman’s script, brought to life by visionary director Michel Gondry, is as mind-bending as it is heart-wrenching.
As of publication, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind is streaming on The Criterion Channel.
Carol (2015)
Cate Blanchett and Rooney Mara star in Todd Hayne’s Carol, a sapphic love story based on Patricia Highsmith’s novella The Price of Salt.
Set in 1952, Carol follows Therese, a young shopgirl who becomes infatuated with Carol, a wealthy older woman. Carol has a daughter and is in the process of separating from her husband.
The budding relationship at the film’s center places Therese and Carol in conflict with the heteronormative, patriarchal expectations circa 1952. Carol’s frustrations within the sphere of patriarchal domesticity pit her maternal instincts against her queer desires.
What is the value of a woman’s autonomy? Carol contends that sexual liberation is worth the price of salt.
As of publication, Carol is streaming on Netflix.
Harold and Maude (1971)
Hal Ashby’s morbid comedy isn’t for everybody. By the end of the first scene, you will know if it is a film you will enjoy: you’ll either find it off-putting or delightfully odd.
Harold, a boy of nineteen, is obsessed with death. He stages elaborate scenes of attempted suicide, all of which go unnoticed by the adults in his life. Nihilism broadly resonates among disillusioned adolescents entering adulthood.
Harold’s personal despair is historically situated amid the war in Vietnam, a military boondoggle that shipped 50,000 young men like Harold to die in a pointless war.
Harold is jolted from his all-too-relatable despair when he meets Maude (Ruth Gordon), a seventy-nine-year-old woman bursting with zeal for life. They embark on an emotional journey that spans a sixty-year age gap and changes Harold’s outlook on life.
As of publication, Harold and Maude is streaming on Paramount+ and Kanopy.
Until next week, happy Valentine’s Day, film freaks!
Another wonderful read. Thank you. Jean
I'll keep this list within easy reach, especially since there are a few classics mentioned that I have yet to see.