Understanding Trump's Foreign Film Tariff

The President's Proclamation, annotated.

An executive order, signed by President Trump, that bans subtitles from film. After the signing, the President told reporters, “For far too long foreign films have come with subtitles that force Americans to read words at the movies. Frankly, it’s a disgrace to the millions of Americans who, I don’t want to call them illiterate, but they can’t read too good, and that’s okay. We just want to go to the movies to see the moving pictures.” When asked if he was able to read, the President assured reporters of his literacy, claiming he’s “probably the best at reading,” but declined to demonstrate, saying “If I was illiterate, how come I can write my name so good?” before exiting the Oval in a hurry.

On May 4, 2025, at 7:18 p.m. EST, the President of the United States announced a major shift in international trade policy with profound implications for the American media ecosystem. The proclamation, issued via official government channels,¹ typifies the administration’s approach to good governance.

As part of the Trump administration’s very smart and well-executed global trade war, President Trump has decreed that the United States government will immediately institute a 100% tariff on movies made outside of the United States. As a devoted patron of the arts and paragon of good taste, Trump’s bona fides in this realm, and, frankly, all realms, are unimpeachable².

Trump’s decree, annotated below.

Many people are saying that Trump’s exorbitant tariffs will undoubtedly result in immediate economic prosperity. That may seem counterintuitive, but it’s not. In fact, many people are saying you should stop asking questions because, as has been well-established, critical thinking under the Trump regime is deeply un-American.

Portrait of an American Patriot.

Unfortunately, countless Americans haven’t gotten the memo³. However, readers of the lamestream media don’t understand how Hollywood stands to benefit from the sudden and aggressive imposition of protectionist trade policy onto the entertainment industry, which obviously stands to benefit everyone. As expected, the lamestream media’s coverage has impugned the infallibility of our glorious leader, with reporters asking deeply dishonest questions such as “What?” “Huh?” and “Why?”

The answers to those questions don’t matter, but the radical left remains committed to seeing America fail. To communicate the truth behind the President’s new policy⁴, Acquired Tastes would like to provide readers with an annotated copy of Trump’s latest policy, straight from the horse’s ass mouth, with no room for misinterpretation.

Supreme Leader Trump, drafting sweeping changes to government policy.

Trump decrees:

“The Movie Industry⁵ in America is DYING⁶ a very fast death⁷. Other Countries are offering all sorts of incentives⁸ to draw our filmmakers and studios away from the United States⁹. Hollywood, and many other areas within the U.S.A.¹⁰, are being devastated. This is a concerted effort by other Nations¹¹ and, therefore, a National Security threat¹². It is, in addition to everything else, messaging and propaganda! Therefore, I am authorizing the Department of Commerce, and the United States Trade Representative, to immediately begin the process of instituting a 100% Tariff¹³ on any and all Movies coming into our Country that are produced in Foreign Lands¹⁴. WE¹⁵ WANT MOVIES MADE IN AMERICA, AGAIN!¹⁶”

Any questions? I didn’t think so.

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Until next time, GOD SAVE AMERICA, AGAIN!

1. (i.e., via a post to Trump “Truth Social” page).

2. Excluding the two impeachments Trump racked up during his first term, but he wasn’t convicted by the Senate, which means Trump has been unconditionally acquitted of all wrongdoing heretofore and henceforth.

3. Many, many people are saying that the radical left’s continued commitment to “critical thinking skills” is the result of a well-documented and very real conspiracy, led by Antifa, to undermine President Trump’s pro-American agenda.

Why the anti-fascist group continues targeting the Trump administration remains a mystery to patriotic Americans who have abandoned critical thinking, as every red-blooded American ought to have done by now.

4. Which has been ReTruthed 6.64k times, making it a super-mega-ultra truth.

5. “Movie Industry” [proper noun] - A monolithic consortium of the interests of every person within the film industry, all of whose interests are completely and unconditionally aligned with all of their industry counterparts and competitors.

6. Fact check: not untrue.

Source: many people.

7. Fact check: “Fast” is a relative term that begs the question:

a) How long has the industry been failing?

b) When did the prognosis become terminal?

c) Since the movie industry isn’t dead yet, how much time remains until it perishes? That is, how quickly will this very fast death be?

In response to these questions, I would remind you that asking questions is frowned upon, and critical thinking is for communists, terrorists, and other similarly maligned, un-American associations. You’re on thin ice.

8. “incentive” [noun] - a thing that motivates or encourages one to do something. In the Carrot-Stick paradigm, incentives are the dangling carrots that urge the mule to keep walking despite exhaustion.

9. Here, Trump identifies foreign governments' successful employment of incentives to encourage filmmakers to work outside the United States.

10. You know exactly who, what, and where Trump is talking about. Thus, any additional specification is unnecessary and only serves to feed the paranoid questions emanating from the unhinged, radical left.

11. “By which nations?” “To do what, exactly?” You got alotta questions. Keep it up, and the FBI might show up with some questions for you.

12. “National Security threat” [noun] - any concerted effort by any nation, or group of nations, to accomplish anything.

13. Considered within the Carrot-Stick incentive paradigm mentioned in footnote 8, proposed tariffs are a punitive incentive (i.e., the stick): an infliction of pain to compel action towards the desired outcome (e.g., whipping a mule with a stick so it keeps walking despite exhaustion).

President Trump is swinging his big stick in response to the juicy carrots foreign governments successfully employed to lure film production outside the United States. The economic pain that these tariffs cause will surely result in the swift return of all film production to the United States.

Why would this strategy work? Great question, stop asking them.

You see, the Trump tariffs inflict economic pain without offering any additional incentive except maybe easing the tariffs and, in doing so, causing less pain. It is a genius strategy that reinvents the tired “carrot-stick paradigm” that has underlain the behavior of rational actors throughout history. In its place is Trump’s patented “stick-stick” approach to negotiations, offering allies and adversaries alike a choice between maximum economic punishment or the opportunity to capitulate without being offered anything at all except the possibility of less economic pain pending total appeasement.

The logic underlying this revelatory incentive structure is undeniable, and for this innovation, Donald Trump deserves the Nobel Prize in economics.

14. “Foreign Lands” [proper noun] - anywhere outside the borders of the continental United States. These “other countries,” with their rich histories, vibrant cultures, and, potentially, non-English speaking citizenry, inherently constitute a threat to America by dint of being different.

15. Here, Trump uses the first-person plural “we” to linguistically signal that others share his desire. Who are these people, you ask? Many people, including yourself.

(For your own safety, just smile and nod and don’t ask any more fucking questions, okay?)

16. *deep, beleaguered sigh*