The DCEU Flavor Profile - Part I

Now streaming on Netflix.

Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor Bombs

Superhero fatigue has incubated amongst American moviegoers for at least half a decade. The Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU) has pumped out consistently palatable content for fifteen years.

If the MCU were a box of chocolates, it would be a suitably tasty treat. There would be variety: dark chocolate, milk chocolate, caramel, nougat — nothing interesting, entirely fit for human consumption. It’s a fine product!

Nevertheless, I prefer their competitor: the much-maligned DC Extended Cinematic Universe (DCEU), now available to stream on Netflix.

If the DCEU were transmuted into candy, it would be like a box of the Wizarding World’s Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor Beans — with flavors ranging from marshmallow to earwax.

Is it a better product? No. Is it a more salable product? Absolutely not, the DCEU was a string of critical and financial failures.

However, in the hyper-saturated superhero space, I think it’s worth celebrating the diverse and oftentimes unpalatable flavor profile of the DCEU.

This week, I’ve cooked up a survey of the DCEU’s bizarre flavor notes. I offer this as a guide and encourage you to consider sampling some of these superpowered experiments in genre filmmaking.

Man of Steel (2013) - Salty Waffle

“You will give the people of Earth an ideal to strive towards. They will race behind you, they will stumble, they will fall. But in time, they will join you in the sun, Kal. In time, you will help them accomplish wonders.”

It all began with Zack Snyder’s Man of Steel. Following the conclusion of Christopher Nolan’s Dark Knight Trilogy, Warner Bros. put in a rather standard order: a Superman origin story.

I remember seeing Man of Steel in theaters. Afterward, my friends and I sat on a trampoline. They had enjoyed the bombast. I remember being the odd man out. Something about the film had left me unsatisfied.

What Snyder produced seemed to resemble a waffle but it didn’t hit the tastebuds correctly. Someone had swapped salt for sugar.

It would take me years to understand what had happened. Snyder had taken Superman, the paragon of altruism, and infused his origin with the sensibilities of objectivism a la Ayn Rand.

Conceptually, it’s an idea.

I mean, it doesn’t comport with pre-existing notions of a well-established character, but I can understand the desire to reframe traditional notions of “truth, justice, and the American way” to create a post-modern incarnation of the classic American superhero.

Alas, the movie’s ponderous propensities result in a bloated exercise of philosophy and faith that is as subversive as it is perplexing.

Take, for example, the conversation between 13-year-old Clark Kent and his father, Johnathan Kent, after Clark has saved his classmates from a fatal bus crash:

Clark Kent: I just wanted to help.

Jonathan Kent: I know you did, but we talked about this. Right? Right? We talked about this! You have… Clark, you have to keep this side of yourself a secret.

Clark Kent: What was I supposed to do? Just let them die?

Jonathan Kent: Maybe; but there's more at stake here than our lives or the lives of those around us. When the world... When the world finds out what you can do, it's gonna change everything; our... our beliefs, our notions of what it means to be human... everything. You saw how Pete's mom reacted, right? She was scared, Clark.

Clark Kent: Why?

Jonathan Kent: People are afraid of what they don't understand.

Clark Kent: Is she right? Did God do this to me? Tell me!

When the most powerful hero in the universe mopes, turns to Christ, and asks, “Why me?” it’s easy to dismiss.

The answer seems obvious: “You’re Superman, dumbass. You save the world because you’re the only one that can!”

Man of Steel looks back at you, glancing over the top of The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand, and whines, “What if I don’t feel like it?”

Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice (2016) - Piss

"Don't piss in a jar and tell me it's Granny’s peach tea.”

This funeral dirge of a film has become an object of my obsession. I went to see BvS opening night and I have never been more bamboozled in all my years watching movies. The first words spoken are bewildering, right out of the gate.

Bruce Wayne (V.O)

There was a time above... a time before... there were perfect things... diamond absolutes. But things fall... things on earth. And what falls... is fallen. In the dream, it took me to the light. A beautiful lie.

The film wants to be a meditation on fear and the media in a post-9/11 political landscape. It continues to construct Superman as a Randian objectivist. Bruce Wayne, at times, parrots Dick Cheney.

The film’s theatrical cut is a whiplash-inducing narrative clusterfuck, hacked to pieces by studio executives that would not release a three-hour film. Clocking in just under two and a half hours, Batman v Superman doesn’t even resemble a functional movie. Scenes crash into each other without any connective tissue. Overcomplicated plotlines weave in and out of existence. Therein lies the magic of this miserable shit-heap of a film.

The deep angst that fuels BvS is entirely earnest, optimizing conditions for naive Camp — the purest joy of artistic failure. It’s pure hetero-masculine Camp, a relative novelty in the realm of cinematic camp.

It’s essentially Showgirls, just swap sleazy stripteases for Batman smashing a porcelain sink over Superman’s head.

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Learn more about the delights of Camp in cinema:

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Suicide Squad (2016) - Rubber Eraser

“I finally have them. The worst of the worst.”

This sorry excuse for a movie is an unpalatable and uninteresting flavor. It wants to be a piece of bubble gum but tastes synthetic and rubbery, and is ultimately unfit for consumption.

It’s mind-boggling that generative A.I. didn’t exist in 2016 because this movie feels like Chat GPT’s first crack at a screenplay. The movie introduces characters twice, dithering for a third of the runtime before tossing its characters into a generic, dim mission with no real stakes or consequences.

The film would go on to be essentially redacted by The Suicide Squad (2021), leaving only eraser shavings and disappointment.

Wonder Woman (2017) - Popcorn

“I will fight for those who cannot fight for themselves.”

After three failures, the DCEU finally made something resembling a real superhero movie. Wonder Woman tastes like popcorn and feels right at home in movie theaters.

It was a critical and commercial hit. In retrospect, I think the effusive praise heaped upon the film evinces the soft bigotry of low expectations surrounding the DCEU.

Whether you think the film was '“graded on a curve” or not, there remains no question that Wonder Woman can hold its own against standard superhero fare.

Justice League (2017) - Original Paste

“It's like this layer of dimensional reality that seems to manipulate space-time. I call it the Speed Force. It causes me to burn a tremendous amount of calories, so I am just a black hole of snacks. I am a snack hole.”

Justice League (2017) was the rushed, botched attempt to unite DC’s equivalent of Marvel’s Avengers. Its production was troubled, with Zack Snyder leaving the film due to a family emergency. Joss Whedon came in to finish the movie under studio-mandated circumstances (e.g. the film was not to exceed two hours, and would include more quips and color). As a result, it feels like industrial paste stamped into the shape of a superhero movie.

It was a dud upon release that has only become more embarrassing with time. Zack Snyder’s Justice League (2021), boasting a four-hour runtime, would bring Snyder’s objectivist Superman arc to its conclusion, rendering Justice League (2017) a non-entity.

[NOTE: Zack Snyder’s Justice League (2021) & Aquaman (2018) are *not* streaming on Netflix. They are currently streaming on Max.]

Shazam! (2019) - Axe Body Spray

“You're like a bad guy, right?”

Shazam! tells the story of Billy Batson, a teenage orphan granted the power to transform into an adult superhero by saying the magic word: “Shazam!” Much of its charm is derived from the child-turned-adult gimmick, which carries with it the essence of Axe Body Spray.

Honestly, Shazam! is not a terrible movie but like Axe, it reeks of immaturity and lacks staying power.

Joker (2019) - A Bitter Pill

“You don't listen, do you? I don't think you ever really hear me. You just ask the same questions every week. ‘How's your job?’ ‘Are you having any negative thoughts?’ All I have are negative thoughts.”

Joker made waves upon release. The movie was condemned sight unseen for its promotion of violence and sympathy for incels. Cable news speculated for days, “Would Joker’s release lead to mass shootings?” Despite the media’s display of “mass shooting manifestation,” the film didn’t cause an eruption of violence.

I saw Joker in theaters. It was one of the most miserable films I had seen. Going through the cartoonishly cruel world of Gotham alongside Authur was like getting punched in my fucking face again and again.

There is a real point-of-view germinating within this clown-faced knockoff of Martin Scorsese’s Taxi Driver and The King of Comedy. I do not fault Joker for taking inspiration from better films, especially since Robert DiNero’s role in Joker reflects a certain self-awareness that mitigates the lack of a truly original vision.

Unfortunately, the social criticisms Joker tools around with never really come to fruition. It certainly earns points for trying, and I do consider the film’s oppressive nihilism to be a bold creative choice. It’s one of the better DCEU entries and Joaquin Phoenix’s performance earned him the Oscar for Best Actor.

The film’s success signaled a shift in Warner Bros.'s approach to the DCEU, with bolder flavors coming in the following years.

Nevertheless, Joker remains a bitter pill to swallow.

To be continued in part II…

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See you next week, film freaks.